THE KNOCK BACK

Updated: Aug 26, 2019

So last month I attended HMBIAs Wold Championships, Battle of the Nations. My second World Championships in the sport, making it a full year of international tournaments for me. We fought valiantly! I was, and am, so proud of all the efforts of our fighters, and although we still have a way to go, I couldn’t have asked for a better performance.



The day of the buhurt, (group fights), and luckily after we had dekitted and cooled down!, I came down with a horrible stomach bug. I dubbed it the post buhurt plague! This was with me the remaining 4 days I was in Italy and only cleared up once I had returned home to UK. But my luck hadn’t changed yet! The day after I was satisfied I was fully recovered from my post buhurt plague, I noticed my throat was as sandpaper, and didn’t get any better with re-hydration. On inspection in the mirror I noticed white spots lacing my tonsils. Ah yes, for the first time in my life I was to discover the joys of tonsillitis!


For, again, the first time in my life, I had to pull out of a gig due to illness. It almost tore me apart! Gigging is one of the pillars in my life that sustains me. Tonsillitis completely drained me of all energy for a good 2 weeks in total. I managed to get through one gig a week into the infection thanks to a lot of sleep previously, tonnes of water and good old vocalzone numbing the pain in my throat. I will state- I was on the road to recovery at this point, although it would still take a week to a week and a half to completely clear up, my tonsils were at a stage where I could safely perform without causing any damage!



So, it has come to almost a month in total of being ill in some form, as the tonsillitis graced me with a head cold before it left. This means I’ve had near enough a whole 4 weeks where I’ve been unable to train, and have had very little energy to direct to any productive or meaningful save house chores.


I have found this extremely difficult to deal with. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget the luxuries of maintaining fitness or feeling a sense of purpose in the things you do, aren’t certain. And it can have such a negative effect on you if you lose these luxuries.


Earlier last week, I made an effort to go to the gym. I only managed a measly 15 minutes on the bikes and a light weights workout before I could not carry on any more. I almost broke down there and then, feeling useless and hopelessly weak. I wasn’t ready, my body wasn’t ready.


Healing takes time, and so often we push the limits too far before we are ready. We seem to have lost the wise patience in such situations thanks to the ever increasing pace of the world that surrounds us. Everything is here and now. Same Day Delivery. Live stream. Quick and Cheap. It seems if you can’t keep up then you’ll be punished in some way.


Yesterday I went to the gym, not with my old goals in mind, but the small aim to run a mile, row 2000m and do another light weights workout. I reached this realistic goal, and although it was far more effort than I feel it should have been, I felt better about it.


So, feeling like I’m back to the old drawing board once again, it’s given me a chance to stop. Reset. Refocus. I’m not going to make wishful promises to you or to myself about how far I’m going to get this time, or how much more productive and successful I’ll become. No, instead I have one main aim, and that is to keep going, one step at a time. I am going to work towards being a better version of myself. The best me I can be, physically, mentally, spiritually, creatively, productively. I’m nowhere near perfect, and I don’t want to be. I still have my dreams, and they are not impossible to reach. I just have to keep working to get there.



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